Sunday, October 25, 2015

Grieving Alone

     Certainly, no one's experience with grief is identical.  However, if someone is going through a loss and others are mourning the same loss, too, there is a comfort in being able to share stories and experiences, which transpired with their deceased loved one.  In my years of experience with this topic, I have discovered something, which is particularly difficult.   That is when someone has lost a child (young or grown)  and is not with the parent of that child.  As a result, it is as if one spouse or partner is in mourning, while the other is not.  That, in and of itself, often makes it difficult to discuss one's feelings openly, or at least for any great length of time if the other person wants the parent "to move on."

     So, a parent in this situation often has to "suffer in silence" even in the most private surroundings and the dinner table, during family gatherings, and more.  I believe that a person who is experiencing such a journey can find comfort in talking to others who are going through the grief process, whether it's in person or online.  There has to be an outlet for those feelings.  One cannot be "cut-off" from their innermost emotions at such a crucial time in his or her life.

     I think that in such a circumstance, it is also helpful to keep a journal about feelings, as well as signs that have been received.  Although private, it still allows the person to express personal thoughts.  And professional counseling should never be underestimated, whether it is private or in a group setting.

     I believe that the one thing that most people desire during the grief process (in addition to wanting their loved ones back) is to have their feelings validated.  Finding those avenues in a supportive environment can be invaluable.  I would appreciate your feedback about this topic, whether you leave a comment here or on my Facebook page, Angels at My Door, especially if this is something that you have been grappling with personally in one way or another.

Cindy Adkins

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  1. Thank you for this post cause I am going through this on a yearly basis for many reasons. Even the mate I have is very distant during this time. It makes me feel like I am not meant to find a soul to care about me to call on her anniversary of leaving and I go through depression over her every year for months at a time. This year has been harder though because I am so in a predicament and as always dealing alone. I get help here and there and a shoulder but after I must scream I am depressed. So thank you for all this and now I am dealing with a cancer scare that is not helped by my being depressed. I just want to feel cared about sometimes like I do others who do not ask me for my concern. I just see their need and am there. Just tough but I manage and grateful for finding your page this past April my angels month of birth and death. Be blessed!

    1. I am so sorry that you are going through this...and something just came to me yesterday that I needed to write about this topic. Sending blessings of healing your way, Cindy