Wednesday, October 7, 2015

An Open Letter to Grievers

     For those of you who are going through the grief process, my sincere condolences.  This is a very difficult process and the more support you have from family, friends, counselors, clergy, and even online resources, the better.  Yes, this is a time to reach out to others.

     You are the only person who knows fully what you are going through...Others may mean well, but don't let them "rush" you through the process.  If you need professional help, by all means, get it.

     Besides the pain of the loss itself, I believe that one of the most difficult parts about going through the grief journey is explaining to others what it feels like....That is because for each person it is different.  It is definitely a time when you want someone to validate your feelings.  Unfortunately, right after the funeral, most people go back to their regular lives and expect others (including you) to, also.  But grief does not work like that.  It has its own terms and its own timetable.

     During this time, be good to yourself.  Don't let anyone make you apologize for the hurt you are feeling.  Not everyone understands how you feel.

     I have often heard from others that during the process of grief, friends can change.  It is usually because some individuals don't want to hear about "the loss" anymore.  But it can also be a time when new people emerge that you can share your feelings with.

     I hope that each day brings you more and more healing.

Cindy Adkins

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