As if losing someone you love isn’t bad enough, family and friends can actually contribute to making the grief process even worse. How? By asking, “Aren’t you done yet?” By that they mean, “Aren’t you done crying or talking about your loved one?” “Aren’t you ready to come out and have some fun?” The list goes on and on.
What people don’t realize is that grief takes time—your time—not theirs—and they need to understand it. But they probably won’t. So, what should you do? There are a number of choices. One is to let them know kindly (or otherwise) that it’s none of their business. However, if someone is really saying it out of true concern, then you may want to consider counseling. Just remember—learn to take care of yourself during this time and if you need the help of a professional, by all means, get it.
There is another thing that could happen during the grief process. You may become more spiritually aware. You may meet new people who truly understand you and try to help during this time. You might learn that by taking “baby steps,” each day you are moving toward a new perspective and allowing healing to take place.
Loving blessings to you,
Cindy Adkins
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